dumbest shit I’ve read in quite some time

so, some cu** recently wrote a piece on transgender people being in women prisons. That’s insane, and totally reaching for an anti-trans argument, don’t you think?

I gotta take a side on that one. Prison is dangerous enough in general, but I’d be more worried about a Large Marge than any trans-woman no matter how male. (I’ll post the article later in this post).

Sexual assaults in women’s prison reignite debate over transgender inmates

Is this even worthy of debate? I mean, really? You’ve gotta be kidding me. I thought the stereotype (which is total bs though) is that trans women are (extremely) passive. This is really reaching. It’s even dumber than the restroom debate.

Hell, it might even be nice to have a MALE in prison with you, if you are a woman in prison. Add a bit of spice to the experience. Maybe even mate lol.

Is ‘transphobia’ (yes it exists) so bad that we have to exclude trans women from prisons, too?


My take on Kavanaugh is pretty basic. I don’t like the guy. I think he’s an alt-right doll figure and he probably has a hidden racist slant as well as homophobic and transphobic beliefs he will never outwardly disclose. That’s what I think.

BUT, he’s gonna get confirmed. So the real question is, what do we do afterward? How are we gonna deal with the fucking guy???

Guys like Kavanaugh, often champion ‘freedom’, religious freedom for example, and what a crock of shit. Kavanaugh and his ilk don’t champion religious freedom, they champion the right to look down their nose at people who are different from the collective norms, is the truth about it.

Y’know? Christianity is not going to go away or die off or be made illegal. That AIN’T going to happen, absolutely EVER. So don’t give me that bullshit about religious freedom.

The right to look down your nose at others IS a right, and it’s the only right that guys like Kavanaugh champion, in truth. Lots of people look down their nose at others. JUST TRY TO MOVE INTO LONG ISLAND TOWNS IF YOU ARE BLACK if you don’t believe me, and best of luck because I GUARANTEE you you’ll have one hell of a challenge on your hands. WHY? Simple. Blacks drag down the property value and increase the crime rate. And people are total racist fucks and oppose that and go out of their way to prevent African Americans from moving to Long Island towns. BELIEVE ME. It doesn’t get reported almost ever, because certain powerful individuals and organizations PREVENT it from being reported, but oh does it happen, OH does it EVER happen.

And Kavanaugh is part of that, central to it as a matter of fact. Oh, but don’t worry it’s not just a Republican or Conservative value system as plenty of red-blooded Democrats don’t want the blacks moving into their neighborhoods any time soon, either, because they might lose a few thousand dollars down the line when they sell their house. So blame to go around, oh is there ever. BUT – Republicans do it out in the open, that’s the only difference.

So, Kavanaugh is a cunt, but the people trying to derail him are cunts too. Cunts, cunts, everywhere.

Best thing to do in this life is take care of numeral uno and make sure to have guns in case other people try to force their shit on you particularly through official or governmental means, which tends to deter them from doing so.

But don’t worry too much, Roe V Wade is NOT going to be ‘overturned’. The stink created by any attempt to do so could well provoke riots in which the perpetrators of the attempt will be politically liable, so it ain’t going to happen, BECAUSE they will lose votes and their numbers will decrease, and they won’t want THAT, believe me. So don’t get your panties in a bunch.

But DO worry about how the fuck we’re going to deal with this Kavanaugh guy in the way. how will this guy influence the rest of the SCOTUS? How will this guy handle press attention? WHAT LOBBIES WILL THE GUY SUPPORT (especially that one)?

That’s what we need to think most about.

Ugly Truths I Have a Hard Time Not Thinking About

This is off topic and doesn’t have a lot if anything to do with transgender or gender issues.

I can’t help, especially when I’m shopping, noticing the billions of things for sale out there, that never get sold, that just sit there, and I can’t help but think to myself just how damn wasteful we Americans and westerners (not just Americans) are in general. We make billions of products every year, and then we send them off to stores to sit, and rarely are they ever donated to international charity or given away, even though the bulk of what is for sale is ever sold or used.

BILLIONS of products, from clothes to cars, never sold, never used, just sitting there for sale.

MEANWHILE, rebellions and wars are fomented in third world and second world states by major corporations and governments mostly of western origin (with the possible exception of a few Japanese and Chinese groups), policies are instituted that change whole societies with millions of human beings, all in a direction that directly or indirectly benefits western interests, and the bulk of these actions are largely unreported by media outlets to the people it benefits.

I watch a good bit of TV, and I notice the commercials and it OFTEN seems to me like the only thing Americans have in common is the sheer love of money. EVERY commercial on TV emphasizes money. EVERY commercial. It sickens me frankly. GIVE US YOUR MONEY these commercials demand. MAKE MORE MONEY by giving us money, they demand.

I am no anti-materialist or any kind of radical anti-consumerist. I don’t believe even that consumerism is a real problem necessarily. I just notice these things.

And people don’t realize that a lot more than their freedom is provided for by a combination of military force and corporate persuasion overseas. The NICE THINGS we have and own and use are provided for as well. NON-NECESSITIES, not just ‘freedoms’ are made possible by the use of international power, in the form of military intimidation and corporate persuasion.

People talk a lot about American freedom, but I think what they really often mean, when the guise of bullshit is removed, isn’t freedom, which is a necessity of life, but rather, nice stuff to own.

I also think that people in western society just love to OWN things, even stuff they don’t use. They like the power of buying crap. They love the power that money gives them, not so much the end products they buy.

Yes, all that nice shit you own and/or use is made possible, these ‘freedoms’ are made possible, not by being good or smart, but by a collective system of exploitation and manipulation of greedy parties in parts of the world we don’t even often know exist.

So, next time you buy something you don’t really need, remember, your cushy lifestyle has a cost. It doesn’t come for free.

and consider, what the fuck would you do without those nice things? What if you only had some freedom but not nice stuff? What would you do without a smart home? What would you do if you didn’t have that fucking Peloton exercise bike you hardly ever use that just sits there that you bought because you had some play-money to use? What would you do if you JUST had your family, and JUST had the knowledge that you won’t be shot summarily in the street for having an illegal thought? What would you do without all the crap you accumulated that you don’t need to be free?

All that crap comes at a cost. So when politicians and others talk about freedom, remember, what they really mean is nice crap that we bought with the blood and sweat of people who frankly are better people than we can ever hope to be in places we never will ever even think about, none of whom own any of the shit we do or ever will EVER.

Cryptorchism and Undiagnosed Conditions

Just a guess but I figure there’s quite a few undiagnosed individuals running around with various degrees of intersex conditions, not severe ones, not even ostensible ones, but a lot of mild forms of it.

I wasn’t one, I mean I kind of was. The doctors didn’t investigate until I was 24, but they DID correct me at birth. I had phimosis (an over-tightening of the foreskin) so they had to do a ‘baby circumcision’ or ‘partial’ circumcision so as to make the prepuce retractable. I also had a malformed labio-scrotal region, that is, with hypospadias, so they sewed that up. The testis were undescended, but eventually descended on their own, but they were (and are) retractable, so they had to correct the hypospadias, sew that up, and they made all these decisions on the mere presence of a) a large enough phallus to be a micropenis and b) the presence of gonadal structures (of some kind) close enough in appearance to normal testis.

Quite a basis for sex assignment, isn’t it? They didn’t bother with genetic testing. I think that many doctors just don’t want to go there, and don’t want to deal with upset parents, so they only tell parents what they absolutely have to, like doing a partial circumcision to correct phimosis, and hypospadias correction, BOTH of which are not that rare and therefore not that upsetting to parents. I think that they do this to avoid lawsuits and controversy, not bothering to go any further so as not to upset parents.

Therefore in light of that, I think that there are MANY MANY cases of various degrees of intersex conditions running around out there, which only go diagnosed in third world countries where they publish it in international medical literature, therefore the conditions appear MUCH rarer than they really are.

Genital nature, by it’s very nature, is often illusory, that is, as an example, what appears to be a micropenis is often in truth, a very large clitoris, or what APPEARS to be testis have some ovarian tissue, OR for example, a scrotum that appears to be basically a scrotum is in fact, masculinized labio-scrotal folds, and so genital nature is often illusory, in my experience.

But they base everything on appearance, assignment is based on what looks right.

People born straight in the middle are assigned based on the potential length of a phallus, if it can be a micropenis they will be assigned male. Sad, isn’t it?

There should be mandatory genetic testing OFFERED, although not required, by every doctor in ALL cases that involve genital abnormalities in newborns. That’s my two cents on the matter.


Uh Oh (Smoking and HRT)

I smoke a good pack and a half a day…sigh, so I just found out that many doctors will not give HRT/Estrogen to those of us who smoke. Others say they make you cut down. Others still say they will give it regardless of smoking habit.

Others claim that clotting is a big fat risk.

It’s hard to say who’s lying and who’s not. The worst case scenario for me personally if I CAN’T quit, is that I have to find a second opinion I guess.

Anyway it’s going to be tough to quit, but I think I want this bad enough to just pull it off.


My Nose

God I hate my nose. Today I was looking in the mirror, after months and months of not taking care of myself properly, just looking in the mirror, studying my face, getting to know myself again after the depression bout.

My nose is darn huge 😦 I hate it. Someday I’ll get a rhinoplasty, but it’s not on top of the list. Like big ears, though, the only way to draw away from nose size is by highlighting other areas of the face using makeup so.

I sooooo need someone, who genuinely finds me so, to tell me I’m pretty. Soooo bad. I feel so darn ugly. I was also noticing my old acne scars, so that didn’t help one bit.

Just anyone, but an honest comment. Like, “it’s true your nose is big and you have acne scars, but you’re still a very attractive girl.” something like that.

I’m betting LOTS of trans women struggle with similar dilemmas. I’d bet quite a bit on that. Maybe in the line of about 40% of trans women I would wager. But seriously, my nose is gigantic. Exceptionally so. It DOES run in the genes. My uncle had a huge nose and my granddaddy did too.

Yes I think I’ll save for a rhinoplasty AFTER the adam’s apple shaving, and the orchiectomy and hormones.


Indifference is Awesome

The best reaction in the world is not to be called maam or sir but when people are just indifferent to your gender, such as in public settings like malls and stores. The reason I say this is because no one is forced to question your gender, then you pass, period.

I mean, it’s very nice to be called by your preferred gender, but the realization that you don’t stand out and people don’t have to question themselves or you to figure it out is even better, because then you know you blend well with the role.

Let me put it this way: Caitlyn Jenner felt the NEED to announce her new name to the world in such a way that she felt that it was necessary to CLARIFY the matter, rather than simply BEING a woman, and letting others react accordingly. “Call Me Caitlyn” she said, as though we had to know this rather than just looking at her new appearance and figuring that out by ourselves.

I guess not everyone can pass so easily, and so we are ideally supposed to make sure we know each other’s preferred role, as not everyone is so pretty as me, lol, but still, I feel like we shouldn’t have to announce ourselves is all.

I mean personally I can easily stretch my mind to call a guy she and call a girl he, but not everyone is so advanced, and most people aren’t, so next time someone DOESN’T call you maam, be happy, because it means you’re passing TOO well.

BTW here’s an old picture of me from college when my hair was REALLY long and I stuffed my bra for the pic:

cvvxc342 3

As you may or may not notice, I have a rather male-ish nose but other than that, I pass pretty well, even though I hardly do my hair at all in any way, like I don’t really spray it or style it or perm it or anything. I also wear really thick glasses, case you didn’t notice that detail haha.

I pass incredibly well, but when I look in the mirror, I often feel so insecure, like I’m not female enough, I know it makes no sense, but having been raised as a boy and spent 39 years in that societal role with an Adam’s Apple and a deeper voice, it’s HARD to accept what I see in the mirror VERSUS what I know others see, which is too feminine to be a guy. I AM insecure too, particularly when doing makeup, I feel so -not masculine- but just male, even though logically I know I’m not. I do NOT feel pretty when I’m gawking at the mirror.

But indifference says otherwise!

The importance of Clothing to Gender Identity

I wanna talk a little about clothing and it’s importance to being female in gender identity specifically, particularly for male to female individuals in transition and post-transition as well.

It’s funny how clothing affects the self confidence. It shouldn’t matter I know, what kind of clothing you wear, and it shouldn’t really matter if you can pass or not, but it doesn’t hurt to try.

I know it matters a great deal to me. Even the clothing that cannot be seen like my underwear. It matters, it makes mostly an impression on myself, impressing myself and reminding me constantly of WHAT I am, and who too to a lesser degree.

As to external impressions made on others, people respond to clothing a great deal. If you are male to female and you wear a lot of pink, people WILL pick up on that a great deal, even if you’re subtle about it.

Clothing DOES matter.

But again, I’m not exactly an example of a ‘normal’ transgender person. I mean my junk fits fine in the women’s underwear and hip huggers fit like a glove, so…er…not the best example as many Transgender people struggle with it.

For the record, the part spandex underwear I wear feels just terrific and handles my crap rather well.

Lighter clothing, as in light colors, not hot pink or whatever, seems to help a lot to pass as a woman too, by the way, or lightly flowery designs, the key in my experience is subtlety.